The book “Pesantren, Seksualitas dan Kekerasan Seksual” (Pesantren, Sexuality, and Sexual Violence), commonly called “Buku Pink”(the pink book), was reviewed and discussed again by Ayuning Dharma Malik and the Umah Ramah Team on Tuesday, September 24, 2024, at 19.00 WIB. Together with young people who deliberately came to discuss while drinking coffee at Kopi Satu Visi, Mekar Mulya Street RT 02 RW 11, Karya Mulya Village, Kesambi District, Cirebon City, this monthly book discussion has reached Chapter 4, which is about experience on sexuality.
Ahmad Hadid opened with an introduction to what was discussed in Chapter 4, then asked Napol to spark the discussion. Napol explained the big picture of this chapter, which included: 1) Sexuality of the Self: menstruation, wet dreams, sexual desire, and sensuality; 2) Sexuality as Behavior: Intimacy and Mairil; 3) Sexuality in the Public Sphere; and 4) The Search for Knowledge on Sexuality.
Napol noted that the findings of the Umah Ramah team’s research in the pink book were based not just on sources of information in Islamic boarding schools, but also on larger references. The pink-covered book, especially in chapter 4, highlights the very lack of discussion of sexuality in the non-biological realm in Islamic boarding school study books. Even the biological ones discuss more about the biological cycle of female reproductive organs than male ones.
“In our findings, students described non-biological experiences with their reproductive organs, such as when female students menstruated and male students had their first wet dreams. Also about sexual impulses, which are interwoven with that experience. Sexuality as a non-biological experience is not taught at Islamic boarding schools or public schools,” he said.
Because of the lack of references to study sexuality, many male students have turned to irresponsible sources such as pornographic videos to satisfy their curiosity. Meanwhile, female students frequently experience confusion and fear while recognizing their own bodies.
Ayuning went on to tell her reflection after reading Chapter 4. “As a city-dwelling child, I only recently learned about the ‘munar’ ritual. It is a traditional event for girls who have their first menstruation,” she said.
According to the pink book, the munar ritual is carried out by parents to notify those around them that their daughter is now an ‘adult’. That she is already menstruating. They carry on the tradition by preparing sticky rice that is then colored yellow with turmeric. This yellow sticky rice is subsequently handed to family members and neighbors nearby.
The talk lasted into late evening, with a question-and-answer session and experience sharing. Around personal sexuality; intimacy with friends and crushes; sexual violence in the surrounding environment; and distinguishing between feelings and desires that arise and become entangled in interactions with others. []
This article was translated by Napol Riel.