By: Khawakibb ***
Frequently we hear about incidents of violence where the victims are women. Women seem to be easy targets for perpetrators. This cannot be separated from the construction of our knowledge which has been rooted for hundreds of years, that women are weak and helpless creatures.
Discrimination and violence against women begins with a false view of them. Women are still looked down upon, considered inferior, and seem to “deserve” inappropriate treatments. These unfounded assumptions continue to be normalized that common hatred arises towards them. This hatred often leads to normalized violence.
I often see examples of violence in dating relationships between women and men. Many young women experience violence from their partners just because the men are blindly jealous. And recently, it seems like there are more and more cases of violence experienced by women circulating on social media. There are various kinds of cases ranging from children to adults.
Of all the recent news, what has attracted more public attention is the case of violence against women which resulted in death. Like the case of the death of a young mother in Bekasi. She experienced domestic violence (KDRT) and reported the violence to the police. The report was not followed up and ended up being “reconciled”. After that, such violence occurred again and this time the woman died in the hands of her own husband.
In another case, a junior high school boy dared to kill his female friend from the same school just because he was hurt by being rejected in love. And most recently, a similar case occurred in a woman who was abused by her boyfriend in East Java. This case received public attention because the perpetrator was the son of a member of the Indonesian Parliament. The perpetrator’s actions were also considered very sadistic; Kicking her, hitting her on the head with a liquor bottle, running her over with a car to death.
Murder cases like that are very specific, in the sense that they are different from murder cases in general. This type of murder was later referred to by various media and women activists as “femicide”. I myself am still unfamiliar with the term “femicide” so I looked for the meaning of this word hoping to get an explanation as to why this incident happened. I read various articles and journals. From there I was able to understand a little about what femicide is.
As stated by the National Commission on Violence Against Women (Komnas Perempuan), femicide is the act of killing women driven by hatred, revenge, conquest, control, enjoyment and the view of women as property so that others can do as they please.
Of course, there are many cases that result in the death of a woman. However, in femicide, women’s deaths are more caused by elements of unequal relations or gender discrimination. The reason why women are killed is because there are patriarchal practices in them. So, femicide is not the same as general murder.
Because femicide originates from discrimination and unequal relations, introducing gender relations, inequality and the importance of having good relationships is crucial for our children and teenagers from an early age.
Any relationship between humans definitely has two positions, the dominant and the vulnerable. In a patriarchal culture that places men at the top, women are vulnerable and have the potential to experience discrimination and violence.
Considering the low position of women in their relationships, the possibility of women experiencing femicide is very large. Especially if the woman who is “weakened” is in a culture that places her as a “property” that men can own by marrying her. Or if they are not yet married, they are considered “property” owned by their family and those closest to them.
Apart from these factors, from the observations I have made of cases of femicide, murders also occur because of the neglect of the security forces and the state which should provide protection for the weak. In the case of a young mother in Bekasi, it can be seen how the police were careless and considered cases of violence against women to be very common.
Moreover, because domestic violence is considered a private matter, many bystanders remain silent. The silent majority is what makes it difficult for women who experience violence to talk about the violence that befell them.
Women are also made so dependent on men. Women who, because of their cultural pressures, do not find it easy to break off their relationship with their partners, even if that relationship leads them to a cycle of violence after another. It’s not easy for young women to get out of toxic relationships.
Many married women are also “forced” to choose to stay in a toxic marriage because they still love their partner, or just can’t bear it for their children. Or for family honor. As in the proverb “drinking water tastes of thorns, eating rice tastes of husks“. Separating from their husband will result in new suffering in the form of stigma and oblique attacks. Even if they survive, it still hurts.
Because femicide begins with ‘minor’ violence that continues to be normalized, it is time for us to be more sensitive to the conditions around us. Acts of domestic or dating violence are not a private domain between the perpetrator and the victim. We as neighbors, friends or people closest to us need to take significant actions to prevent violence from recurring and avoid more dangerous incidents from occurring.
Vulnerability in these relations should also make the government, security forces and society in general pay more attention to the condition of women. All citizens, especially women, should be guaranteed a sense of security and safety in their daily lives.
As we all know, the enforcement of the Law on Sexual Violence Crimes (UU TPKS) is a glimmer of hope so that violence against women does not happen again. But the government must also be more aggressive in educating the public so that there is no longer gender inequality and unequal relations and discrimination against women. That way, the smallest potential for hatred towards women that leads to femicide can be minimized. []
*** The author is a participant in the 2nd Cohort of Sudhamala School held by Umah Ramah in 2023.
This article was translated by Napol Riel.