By: Napol Riel
The routine discussion with Indramayu students took place again on Thursday, October 31, 2024. That afternoon, dozens of students from Cirebon’s various campuses, as well as the Umah Ramah team, sat on park tiles. The park name is Taman Pelangi (Rainbow Park). It is located in the area of one of the big campuses in Cirebon which is never quiet from the hustle and bustle of student activities there.
They all come from Indramayu, gathered together in IKMI (Ikatan Keluarga Mahasiswa Indramayu; Indramayu Student Family Association) Cirebon community organization. There were around 18 men and 5 women participating in this second discussion. The discussion of the book “Memahami Kekerasan Seksual dengan Lebih Dalam” (Understanding Sexual Violence More Deeply) by Umah Ramah or also called “The Black Book” because of its black-colored cover, continued in the sub-chapter of Power Relations and Sexuality.
The sub-chapter’s theme should cover a wide range of topics encountered in daily life, which can be difficult to unravel in each case. Participants in the discussion expressed their concerns through questions, statements, responses, and objections based on their own experiences and interpretations. They also made assumptions about the male-female relationship. As a couple, or as a member of a group or community.
Why do so many men feel challenged or inferior when their wives/partners/women earn more than they do? Why are public-sector women still expected to be “good wives” (burdened with full-time domestic work) by their husbands and society? What should husbands and wives do if a “crisis” occurs in the home? When a conflict arises in a relationship, what type of communication should be established? Why do some women who advocate for gender equality maintain double standards in their relationships with men?
The discussion continued until the evening. Participants and the Umah Ramah team discussed their perceptions of familiar terms within the context of gender movements. What remains unclear, confusing, or just an assumption. About gender equality and what the feminist movement is fighting for. []
This article was translated by Napol Riel.